Endings

Still amid a terrible month of depressive moods (circulating darkly around our house) and depressive vampirism (mum’s ongoing medicals) this has been a funny old time. Along with this is the usual raft of missed social engagements, and also a small sprinkling of pressure for P – upcoming school tests, peer group changes and a slight waver in her performance-confidence. Mum is in a respite home mostly in order to re-regimen her meds, she simply can’t cope with taking them herself. Strange times.

I handed in my final essay for OU yesterday. Assuming I get more than 40% for it – ?! – I have finally got my degree at 2.2 and will graduate in April 2011 assuming I live that long. I feel sort of empty with no focussed reading to do any more. Dickens here I come… I wonder if I’ll ever write another “essay” again? Pulling out the pin…

Skinbat Scramble have an upcoming gig at the Forum as part of the Syd Barrett trust; also recording to do for the next album; I have committed to this. Syd Barrett – could it be any more perfect?

Last night I dreamed that my next-door-but-one neighbour urinated on me from his window, in the dream I pretended to ignore it and haughtily went on with unloading groceries from my car.

Dream Evolution

Feeling a bit crook this past week, very dizzy and my equilibrium is upset. Very cranky and disturbed sleep, with wild dreams of punishment and revenge.

I fear I may be evolving into Homo Miserablis.

Week

Pleasant enough weekend, holiday anticipation for Cornwall running rife. Pip is giving up her Nintendo DS in favour of a PSP, thus purging the last of the Nintendo-ism from the house (apart from the Mario soft toys).

Went to see sister’s new house yesterday, which is nice – with lots of “built-in” original 1930s features, superb model kitchen with drop-down seating benches and table and – under the manky carpets – herringbone parquet wood flooring. Lot of work for her but excellent.

Disturbed dreams last night – of space-opera magnitude. Probably from reading Banks’ “Matter” which is wonderful.

Help! and Dreams

Blood test: The nurse (who was not Abby Lockhart-like in any way) bodged her first attempt in my left arm – the needle fell out. “That’s a pity, it was in so well“. I told her through gritted teeth I was not good at this. After she looked at my right arm and telling me that the veins were “not very good” she toddled off to get a more senior nurse who presumably could take a blood sample. After digging around a bit in my flesh, she chimed up with “you’re a bit tense”. I nodded and avoided fainting, only to hear “it’s not flowing very well, that’s odd“. More digging around (when I later took off the dressing, there were three puncture holes in my arm). I was told that my blood was “just a trickle”, and that they “hope there was enough to do the tests“. Me too! They then advised me not to go to the gym (as I had planned to do). After narrowly avoiding fainting, I stumbled to Sainsbury’s to shop for food – after all, it’s the last I might be able to afford… And while I was walking round Sainsbury’s my iPod stopped working. I mean just stopped working, I didn’t drop it or anything (and never have). I went later to PC Turd, though it is under warranty to get a new one (good news), they hadn’t got any in stock la la la 7-10 days la la la, which will probably mean I don’t have it for Paris (bad news).

Yes, the Systems thing: I got a cheque which “should clear” for part of my wages – but just part. God knows what happens now – and I’m off to France in a week’s time. ‘Elp!

To school in the afternoon this week: It was probably my mood, but some of the kids were right little b*ggers today. Home, where Mumsie was awaiting us – her house sale/purchase is proceeding, but slowly. She’s fine, and left some bits for Pip’s birthday.

Also at work, I had only one instructor for Sunday, who has now announced (knowing full well that it was Pip’s birthday and party) that he’s off on Sunday. It may just be my doom and gloom mood, but thanks a 8**8ing bunch you 8**t. So, I may have to miss that.

Later, my back started hurting (still is right now). This is stress-related. This also may be stress-related:
MY “FANCY” DREAM
I was at a house party (!) hosted by the landlord of where Systems used to be situated. The Systems building was next door, as it used to be, except this was all happening in France somewhere and the roof of Systems was composed of an intricate and aged system of glass domes, many of which were leaking water down the walls and onto paperwork, computers, etc.
One of the guests at the house party was Vivienne Westwood (!) – my plan was to give the old gal a piece of my mind about fashion and celebrity and really make her smell the glove – however, I came to be introduced to her and turned into a fawning toady “ooh it’s a pleasure to meet you” – I was not tonguetied, but my brain only let me be nice to her.
Then I woke up.

Ill, Me

Up all night with a real lurgie. Very broken sleep last night, odd dreams of school.
Horrible aching pains in my arm and side.

From Fripp: Understanding is simple. Knowing is complicated.